LilGyrlBlue

Keeping Up With the Smiths

Yesterday was a pretty introspective day. I didn’t do much. I was involved with some heavy thinking at the hands of a few recent experiences and largely because of some conversations of guidance and encouragement that I’ve had as well. I’m feeling like this entry will be a part of a series, so just work with me for a bit and let’s see how it all comes together.

I’m a big proponent of vision (and writing the vision…it’s Biblical) and being very clear as to what you want so that you can take the steps necessary to achieve. I realize that as it pertains to something that I want most passionately, I have not visualized anything close to what I want, and I certainly haven’t written it. I can tell you what I DON’T want all day long, but I am not speaking and thinking on those things that I do want with the same consistency, vigor and passion. Therefore, I keep getting the thing that I am concentrating the most on even though I’m stating it in a negative fashion. That’s because the brain (and subsequently the atmosphere) cannot determine the negatives (don’t want, can’t, no), it can only determine what comes after it. For example, “I don’t want a cheating boyfriend” is filtered as “cheating boyfriend.” Whoa! So why not say, “I want a faithful boyfriend”? That would be filtered as “faithful boyfriend.” Changing your vocabulary and thinking may sound like mumbo jumbo, but it really works, especially during times that you may not be feeling your best. How you speak to/about yourself makes all the difference.

This concept, among others, was all too clear as I turned on the Oprah episode, I recorded months ago, that featured the Smith Family: Will, Jada, Trey, Jaden and Willow. I smiled and laughed throughout the entire interview about everything from the couples’ relationships (working and personal) to how they raise their children. Some of the principles and ways of being were so very inspiring and I thought it worth not only sharing, but living. Here are just a few things I found interesting:

1) Marriage as a Business Plan. Now say what you want/need to about their marriage/arrangement/swinger opportunity/cover up for gay proclivities/whatever you want to add, Will and Jada have got it going on. As individuals, they are 2 of the most gorgeous people I have ever seen, they are successful and they have trounced upon Hollywood standards of relationships,, and definitely marriage. They’ve been married for almost 13 years and they have a chemistry/passion that exudes. If it’s just acting, I’m still not mad at it. LOL. So they shared that at the base of the marriage is a marriage (business) plan. The purpose is to determine, “why are we here and what are we doing (together)?” Maybe it’s just me, but as a businesswoman I have never heard anything so profound. Having been “in love” and starting toward the road of marriage I know and agree that there has to be more than intense attraction, bedroom tricks and a few commonalities. Even love is not enough. As a woman in business I know that if I don’t have a plan, or a vision, any work I do is unfocused and potentially in vain. And with unfocused, all over the place, work, there is no real progress…only chaos. In relationships and in business, there is no standing still, there is only progression and regression. So all of those ideas together make perfect sense to me; marrying (excuse the pun) relationships and business is smart whereas so many run from it. Operating out of pure emotion can get you killed. LOL. Logic is not a bad look. I would definitely want to sit down with my husband to be and chart our course together and be sure that even if his individual goals are different from mine that, in the context of our lives together and our family, they go hand in hand, and that at the end of the day, our vision is one in the same. The lack of such planning and the failure for couples to be clear that they are really on one accord keeps Judge Mablean working I imagine. #utterfail

2. Life of service. I can’t really think of anything else that I’m more passionate about. It was really uplifting to witness a well to do couple say that, despite riches and notoriety, they are still called to a higher standard, and that their lives are for much more than entertainment. Even greater? To instill that value and that ethic into their children. Privileged children can be spoiled, stuck up and self centered or they can be raised and molded into responsible human beings who understand the value of service and contributing to mankind via their life’s blessings. Unfortunately we don’t have enough of the latter. Since I will be wealthy, and half of a Power Couple, it is important to plan that aspect of my life/family as well. How will we instill those human values; love, compassion and sensitivity to others? It’s worth thinking about and writing down BEFORE the children get here. Otherwise… #epicfail

3. Speaking of children, “we don’t really believe in punishment.” Now this one took a little more for me to understand because, well, I got my @$$ whooped as a kid. And everyone I know got their @$$es whooped as kids…and well those who didn’t…I wouldn’t trade a second of my life for what they have wound up with as a result of no discipline. Now, I was actually a good kid so my lashings were limited, but they certainly were existent. And though I didn’t get that many beat downs, I certainly received my share of groundings/punishments…esp for my smart mouth. Surprised? Yeah, didn’t think you were. LOL. Anywho, Will goes on to explain that they don’t believe in punishment and that they give their children “as much freedom as they can handle.” Once a child poses a danger or detriment to him/herself, then they are “scaled back.” However, this “restriction” on their freedom is not placed to “punish the child for their actions” but to instill the importance of not harming self or others. *face twist* Sounds like some ole new age child rearing to me, but you know what? I’m open. Like I said, I was a good kid. Any type of “discussion” with my dad was enough for me, so were most with my mom, so in my utopia, I will conceive children that are the same way: rational, intelligent and able to understand such things as cause and effect, action and consequence. Now when all else fails, especially if my Mom is still living, they will get the beat down. (old habits die hard)

4. Keep it spicy. Yeah buddy. I mean who knows what really goes down in the Smith household on a sexual/romantic level, but this one I agree with wholeheartedly. Whatever it is, do whatcha gotta do to maintain the spark. You know who you got with when you got with em…don’t get brand new or you might “find yourself by yourself.” It’s really that simple.

All in all, I really enjoyed the glimpse into their family life and business. I took away what I could stand to think about and implement as I continue morphing into the woman that I am meant to be while waiting on the husband I am meant to share my life with and the children I am meant to birth, rear, mentor and watch become incredible beings in their own right. All of those things don’t just happen. Like anything worth having, it takes work and before just starting to work, it’s always best to plan…and before planning is taking the time to see the vision. So…what do you want?

-LGB

I can’t believe it’s been 11 years. Today has been a rough day…not because I’ve been crying, or even particularly sad…just been paralyzed. Haven’t left the house, haven’t combed my hair, just haven’t done much of anything. And I know that my grandfather would NOT have gone for this…AT ALL. It woulda been, “Baby, aren’t you gonna do something with yourself?” LOL. I had to crack a smile. No matter if it was good or bad, it started with “Baby.” That’s how he loved me. That’s how he loved us. He was more than just my grandfather; for a period of my life, he raised me and was the man I spent most of my time with. He shaped what being a man looked like to me and what a man loving/taking care of a wife looked like for me. He loved my grandmother wholeheartedly, and even though she can be a piece of work (all of us can), I never saw him lose his cool or treat her any other way than as a Queen.

11 years ago, I was beginning my sophomore year at the University of Southern California (Fight On Trojans!). The only reason I had left the hospital and gone to school was because I knew how proud of me he was, and that he would want me to go to school. And honestly, I didn’t think that would be the last time I saw him alive. For all of these years I have felt sad, angry and confused because I just didn’t get a proper ending. I was already taken aback by his sudden stroke and unconsciousness, but to have gotten a good report one day, gone to school the next and come home to the news that he was gone is still one of the cruelest moments I can recount.

I’ve done the counseling thing…had to to make sure I didn’t flunk out of school my 2nd year…I’ve talked to family members, I’ve prayed about it and well, I’ve attempted to let “time heal all wounds”, but nonetheless, ever so often I feel really sick about not being there to say goodbye like everyone else. Then I wonder if I could have managed anyway. God truly gives us what is best, and sometimes He withholds the very thing that we think would be good that could potentially destroy us. Would I really want my last memory of my grandfather to be him taking his last breath? I was told that he went peacefully, but still. Could I have dealt with that?

Instead, the last memory I have vividly (because I cannot remember much about the 2 weeks in the hospital or the funeral) is going to pick him up (in my new car) to bring him to my sister’s 13th birthday party. As we were driving, I was playing The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, and “Everything is Everything” came on. I remember him asking what the phrase meant. I remember telling him that it meant everything was cool, it was the way things should be. I remember him grooving to L-Boogie. I remember thinking that I had the coolest grandfather ever.

Later that evening, he suffered a stroke that would silence him forever. 2 weeks later he was gone.

11 years has passed, and even though I miss everything about him, and I see him from time to time when I encounter an older gentleman, I realize that as far as he was concerned, when he left us, and the impact he left with us, he knew that everything is indeed, everything.

I love you with all that I am, and I hope that I have made you proud. Thank you for being all that you were to me, and so many others. I know what love looks like and feels like from a man…and I know that there’s no replacement, no settling, no doing without because of the way you loved me.

Ted Hon aka Pops: June 22, 1932-September 1, 1999

Dear Family & Friends,

Today marks 2 years that I have been out of Corporate America, and working ful time in my Mary Kay career.

I am writing you today with a heart full of gratitude for the role you played over the past 2 years to push, encourage and inspire me. This has been such an incredible journey, and some days I still can’t believe that this is my life; fulfilling and joyful. I never would have imagined that the fear I felt leaving Farmers would manifest into the faith and fruition of something I dared to dream. I’m humbled at being chosen to lead others and to have been delivered out of heartbreak, depression and feelings of failure to do so.

I appreciate those of you who may have thought (but never said), “you must be crazy” as you watched me abandon a corporate reality to “sell lipstick.” Lol. A bigger thank you to those of you who saw how this would go before I did. With your prayers and support in these 2 years I promoted myself in this business 4 times, earned the use of a FREE 2010 Chevrolet Malibu (yeah, still no payment…lol), became an Independent Sales Director (leading over 50 women), earned thousands of dollars in sales & commissions, traveled extensively (business and personal), broke several belief barriers and ultimately began the growth into this ambitious, self-assured, focused and determined woman who wakes up each day with a heart of gratitude and pure joy. I love my life!

All of that is to give God the glory and to let you know what YOUR role in my life has produced, not only in my life, but the lives I get the pleasure of reaching and touching daily through this business. Your love and support know no bounds because it is manifested in lives you may never even meet. Blessings are coming to you just for being a blessing. Rest in that and continue to sow those seeds.

2 years later, there’s a new mission. As much as God has given, the assignment increases in size and urgency. Whether you fully get it or not, MK is so much more than cleanser, lipstick and perfume. It’s a vehicle, a ministry, a way to reach those who so desperately are in need in various areas of their lives. This year the task is simple: Liberty. So many people are living in physical, mental and emotional bondage. God is calling for HIS people to be freed. Period. So one face at a time, the Get F.R.E.S.H. Crew is changing households, communities and cities, by sharing a product that helps people feel good about themselves, and also a business that has changed lives and given hope and possibility back to those who need it the most. Along the way, we are earning a Pink Cadillac CTS and completing the $650,000 Circle of Excellence, so keep us in your prayers.

It’s a big task and a big goal, but I serve a big God. These past 2 years are all the reminder I need.

Thank you again for who you are and what you’ve done. I love you with my whole heart!

Eternally Grateful,
Andrea

Trying not to allow this entry to be as disjointed as I feel about this whole situation, but it will be what it will be…intensely personal, opinionated, and real. Just like everything else LGB. I started this blog post on June 26, 2009. It was the last post I attempted before hiatus. It’s only fitting to finish and post today…

I’ll never forget the day as long as I live; where I was and what I was doing when I heard that Michael Joseph Jackson, the King of Pop had died. That day I was at my parents’ house getting my mind ready for a BIG event for my new consultants that evening. I had decided to go to the bank. The funniest thing is that I must have really been wrapped in this event because I hadn’t been on FB or Twitter, nor was I watching TV to even know something had transpired. As I was stepping off the porch I logged onto Facebook from my phone and began to see several statuses claiming that TMZ was reporting Michael had suffered from cardiac arrest. Immediately I thought, “dang, a heart attack,” but deep down I thought about my stepdad and I wasn’t alarmed. I figured if someone got the story, they must have reached him in time to help him. I was talking to a good friend who was at work checking the websites for news. I refreshed my FB homepage and started seeing death statuses. Surely there was a mistake. Someone was jumping the gun. I got in the car. No MJ music *whew* You know when they play your music, it’s over. I drove to the bank and then to get something to eat. Literally that took like 10 minutes. I sat in the car as my friend told me that TMZ was now saying that he was dead. I started immediately going for the presets on the radio. First button…commercial. Second button…Lil Wayne. Third button…Heal the World. I screamed. And the tears flowed. I sat in the parking lot in tears.

He was a part of OUR family. The black family. The human family. He was shared amongst all of us with his uncanny way to bridge all gaps and make invisible the differences that separated us. He shed light on injustice and all that was wrong. In moments of ignorance, we just danced to it. In moments of enlightenment, we listened and made “that change.”

Even though I never met the man, I didn’t feel like he was some unreachable entity. He felt tangible. He felt like your brother, your cousin, your friend. Seems like every song he made could be tied to a childhood (or adult) memory.

He absorbed so much and released every ounce of pain, pride, happiness, anger, joy, sadness, frustration inside of his music and his choreography. To most of us…he was just entertaining; to Michael, he was living. He lived his life to entertain the masses. What a sacrifice.

Fame? Is it worth it?

Yeah he was weird, but what’s weird? Unusual. As a man he appeared to be very soft spoken and shy. On stage, he RULED.

How many people do you know personally (and yes, count yourself) that consistently strive not only to be the best, but to top their personal best…repeatedly? Yeah, doesn’t happen often. But this man made it his business for over 40 years and in the public eye.

I don’t particularly care for what I can gather of Joe Jackson as a man, but he did lose his son. Back in the day, you would get your ass beat…it just so happens that Michael and his brothers weren’t average children. Along with the discipline, came EXTREME fame at young ages, no real guidance in how to deal with that, groupies, leeches, grueling work schedules, flights all over the world, fatigue etc. LIFE beat the hell out of Michael. Family beat the hell out of Michael. The media and even some of his “fans” beat the hell out of Michael. It just so happens that Joe started it all.

Re-watching his memorial, in tribute, I can truly feel how much Michael was loved. I just pray that he felt even the tiniest bit while his eyes were open on this side. He deserved at least that.

One year later, the family has produced a reality show on A&E, The Jack5ons: A Family Dynasty and there are plans for a Jackson Memorial Concert which continues to raise eyebrows much like the Tribute Concert that his brother Jermaine was struggling to piece together last Fall. Can the man rest? Just stop. Everyone trying to get a piece. Some say the family is involved, some say the family isn’t involved. My question: is Katherine involved. She’s the HNIC of all things MJJ…so if she’s not there, it’s a wrap. But imagine not being able to honor your brother, your uncle, your cousin etc the way that you wanted. We take even the smallest things for granted.

Today (and this weekend) it’s about ALL Things Michael. I have The Jacksons: An American Drea, the 30th Anniversary Concert special, The Wiz, This Is It, and unfortunately the Memorial either on DVD or DVR….and then thanks to KJLH, it’s a nonstop music weekend. My mother grew up listening to Michael, I grew up listening to Michael, and kids today are still singing and listening to his songs. It’s crazy, but a true testament to the music and the artistry. Celebrate, not only his life, but LIFE period this weekend. It’s precious…here today, gone tomorrow.

It’s hard to pick just ONE MJ song, so I’ll leave you with a few. “Don’t Stop til you get Enough…”

Don\'t Stop…
He\'s a Bad Mutha…Shut Yo Mouth
I Wanted to Lean so badly…but I kept falling. LOL
Do You Remember Where You Were When You 1st saw the Moonwalk?
The Song/Video that changed the WHOLE Game